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When Your Child Goes Missing

Vince was on an emotional rollercoaster when his son couldn't be found.

Of all the things I thought I would do on my children’s first day of school, going to the police station to report my son missing wasn’t one of them.

Yet that’s exactly what I had to do last Wednesday when began its school year.

When you’re a worrier like I am, you make a mental list of all the things that could go wrong and constantly fret about them. You don’t want to, but the little voice in your head just keeps reminding you to worry.

And not only do you worry about bad things, you constantly warn your children about potential dangers whether they’re real or not. It’s with this mindset that I began to prepare for the school year.

Because my son has made the leap from elementary to middle school, I had warned him 5,833 times about looking both ways before crossing Ralston Avenue each morning as he heads to the bus stop.

“Some drivers are in a rush to get to work in the mornings so be 100 percent certain they see you before you cross the street,” I warned. “Not everyone actually yields to pedestrians.”

I’ve preached to my son to be mindful of the cars parked on the streets as he walks to the bus stop. I’ve warned of stranger danger and even people that he recognizes that give him the heebie-jeebies.

Despite all my careful planning for the start of the school year, I overlooked one possible scenario. And don’t you know in the name of Murphy’s Law that is just what happened.

I never assumed that my son would get on the bus for the first time (his older sister got placed on a different bus) and all but one other kid on the bus would be headed to Redwood Shores.

When the bus made its stop near the Belmont Library, where he was supposed to get off, and the overwhelming majority of the kids remained seated, my son said he questioned whether that was indeed the correct place to get off the bus.

As the bus headed over the US 101 toward Redwood Shores, he knew it was too late to get off the bus. My son said he had contemplated getting off the bus and walking home from Redwood Shores. But the little voice in his head told him to stay on the bus and see if it would make a return trip back to Belmont.

When all the kids who lived in Redwood Shores got off the bus, my son told the bus driver that he had missed his bus stop and asked if he could get a ride back to Ralston Middle School. My son was put on a different bus and enjoyed the view as the bus followed its route and eventually made its way back to Ralston Middle School.

But during the hour that my son was safe on the bus, my daughter and I were on an emotional rollercoaster.  

My daughter, who is usually calm, phoned me in panic. She arrived at the and didn’t see her brother. She watched as bus after bus had dropped off kids and not one of them was her brother.

She said she went into the library and searched the entire place and couldn’t find her brother. She was in a panic when she called me. I rushed to the library and told her to wait there as I drove around the bus route and even went to Ralston Middle School looking for my son.

When I didn’t find him, I called the bus company and asked if they could check their buses to see if he was on one of them. Then I went to the police station and began the process of reporting my son missing.

While I was talking to one of the officers, a call came in over the police radio informing them that my son was at Ralston waiting for me.

When I saw my son, I smiled. I was happy to see him. I told him I was proud of his decision-making skills. I was glad he stayed on the bus and didn’t try to walk home.

On the drive home, I began to formulate some new worst case scenarios.

I didn’t want to, but the little voice in my head told me to do it. 

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Just a short thought to get the word out quickly about anything in your neighborhood.
Share something with your neighbors. Write a new post... What's up? Make an announcement, speak your mind, or sell something
CP May 15, 2013 at 10:05 am
The City has spent time working with the developer, behind closed doors it would seem, yet inputRead More from the public was an afterthought due to MANY families showing up at a May 6 City Council Meeting (not on the Agenda, yet rink to close June 1 !) So many kids spoke so sincerely and eloquently how the closure would hurt them and their friends. Does San Mateo City Hall care about the residents of our community? Especially the children. City Hall has the upper hand (the Master Plan agreement), we expect them to step up. Why has City Hall allowed SPI to make the children of our community suffer so much agony and pain over this process? Shame on City Hall for letting this drag out !!
CP May 13, 2013 at 02:30 am
Don't give up....the kids are worth it! It is wrong for SPI to be in non-compliance with the masterRead More plan. City Hall should be filing some type of injunction to stop closure of the ice center....this is not right. Repeat of what happened with 7 Eleven on North San Mateo Drive when the developer ignored our City ordinances/plans. Why is this happening again in our City of San Mateo?
Judi May 11, 2013 at 01:20 pm
Post the link to the City Council email if you can... it always makes it easier for those not usedRead More to communicating with government.
Joc C May 14, 2013 at 06:49 pm
Parents supporting Redwood Shores Schools for Redwood Shores Kids, very well said. You have my fullRead More support.
Pearl April 29, 2013 at 06:51 pm
Thanks for sharing, Ari!!!! It's been my experience that when you volunteer, you get back way moreRead More than you give! Thanks for the great example you are setting for us all.
Kelly O'Dea April 29, 2013 at 06:23 pm
Ari-Thanks for sharing the adventures of your volunteering projects! You are a great inspiration toRead More our entire community and we are all very proud to have you as a spokesperson on how volunteering can make a huge impact! Thank you very much! Keep on having fun!
Joan S. Dentler (Editor) April 29, 2013 at 04:13 pm
This is a great reminder that any other local volunteers who would like to share their projects withRead More the community may do so on Belmont Patch! Simply email the editor at joan.dentler@patch.com. Great job Ari!
KP May 2, 2013 at 09:43 pm
Again, thank you Brian for this great article about Nesbit. I'm unsure of how it turned into aRead More sounding board for the petulant to vent but those of us who know how wonderful Nesbit is sure appreciate your article.
Joc C May 2, 2013 at 09:30 pm
API of 800 is not bad but parents are comparing it with other schools in the district. There areRead More other issues that make parents unhappy. The residents in RWS and Belmont Shores are paying property tax which contributes to the building of RWSE. There is an expectation that their kids will go to the kids they help fund. The RWS parents are unhappy because they were told they would not be affected by the no boundary policy. Then, a year later 26 families are affected. No one like surprises. The board's decision to use a 'walking distance' algorithm to promote neighborhood schools is not working. Well, hypothetically if Nesbit API is over 900 and the other schools has API of 800, would we still have this discussion? We would not know for sure but something to think about if API is a factor among others.
Brannigan May 2, 2013 at 08:40 pm
I just moved into the neighborhood behind Iron Gate and we bought in Belmont because of the schools.Read More I am kinda shocked to find people bashing Nesbit. The API score is over 800, has great diversity, and the location seems to be pretty convenient. Our son has 2 more years before he starts, but we wouldn't mind one bit if we ended up at Nesbit. What's the difference of 100 points on API that an extra 5 minutes of father-son tutoring time can't fix. Besides, we all end up at Ralston and Carlmont anyways. To me, those are the schools that matter most.
Karen Haas-Foletta May 6, 2013 at 03:32 pm
We have an on-site after care program at Ralson Middle School. Middle School youth are not too oldRead More to be in aftercare. The youth have a chance to exercise, eat a healthy snack, get their homework done, do arts and crafts, be with their friends and most importantly be in a safe, secure and educational environment. We have around 35 youth enrolled on Wednesdays and room for more if anyone is interested. The program is called Footsteps@RAMS.
Joe May 2, 2013 at 11:19 pm
You have to love the Patch, there is always someone complaining about public education. The schoolsRead More really must have failed all of you, because you don't know how to Google anything to educate yourself before you spew your negative opinions. Below are a couple of links that will help you learn. The first informs you of what minimum days are actually for and the second tells you legally why all schools in the county either have them or have shorter school years. For those of you that aren't the best readers or researchers I'll just tell you that BRSSD adheres to the required instructional minutes in the state. In fact, it is actually over in some grade levels. If you don't feel like believing the information I provided or don't like BRSSD's policy I've also linked the District's website so you can contact the administration or the board members. http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-minimum-day.htm#did-you-know http://www.cde.ca.gov/fg/au/ag/reducingit.asp http://www.brssd.org
Old Timer May 1, 2013 at 05:05 pm
Was nice when children actually did chores and became responsible young adults with a part time jobRead More to manage finances.
Laura Klieves May 8, 2013 at 03:01 am
I'm just now reading this, and haveapizza, I resent that you think that Nesbit parents aren'tRead More involved in their kids' education. I've been involved since my kids started school, and I know many others who are involved too. Oh, and my kids are accountable for their education. Stop bashing Nesbit.
Linda April 29, 2013 at 03:20 am
The current situation is much worse because these are permanent assignments, not just one-yearRead More assignments.
Amy Koo April 29, 2013 at 02:57 am
We will be sharing the latest petition results with the board on May 2nd, so please show yourRead More support by signing if you haven't already. There are only 7 K seats available at Nesbit to handle all of Phase 2 and Phase 3 enrollment. Rather delaying the decision, the board should be proactive and approve the 4th K class at Sandpiper at the May 2nd meeting so that Sandpiper staff can prepare for that additional K class, and parents can move on to collaborating with the district on long term solutions for over-enrollment.
Steve Hayes April 15, 2013 at 03:27 pm
Seems like there is something wrong with this picture - two dogs being way too polite. The focus ofRead More their attention should be on those bones and the bones should be in less than pristine condition!
Joan S. Dentler (Editor) April 15, 2013 at 11:18 am
Good one Ronald!
Ronald Veronda April 14, 2013 at 10:44 pm
Just remember, God is Dog spelled backwards.