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Op-Ed: 'I Will Not Be Wearing Black On Friday'

The author, Jeffrey Selman, encourages the community to help the school district in constructive, positive ways.

Last Friday after Ralston let out, I started receiving calls asking whether I knew anything about the School Board’s decision the night before to not renew Scott Carson’s contract as principal.  I presume that people were calling me because people know that I volunteer my time to the district.  However, even though I had attended and spoken at the School Board meeting the night before, I had no information about this decision which I now understand had been made in closed session which is appropriate for personnel matters.

I eventually was able to learn that the School Board had made this decision, which was publicly announced on Monday.  I have two daughters at Ralston, and an in-coming 6th grader, so I have a vested interest in stability at the school.  I have spoken with members of the School Board about my views on Ralston, but I have not inquired of them why they made the decision that they have made as it is not appropriate for me to be seeking confidential personnel information.  This information pertains to Mr. Carson, and only he should be making the decision to divulge it; no one else.  It is also of no benefit for me to speculate.  Rather, my job as a parent is to advocate for my children, which in my opinion means raising the positives and the negatives about Ralston to those in a position to listen and consider, and hopefully concur and try to effect changes.  I have also taken it upon myself, despite my already busy schedule, to volunteer my time in an effort to raise money for the district as I believe that will help alleviate some of the stressors that Ralston faces.  I do this even though it is unlikely that my children will ever receive much benefit from this.

Through the years, I have spoken with people within the Ralston community, the District Office and the School Board in my efforts to create a better school and district.  I will note for all those who have questioned the School Board that there are two members who have current students at Ralston, and two others who have elementary school children who will attend Ralston.  My experience with each of them has done nothing to suggest that they are trying to achieve anything different than what I am seeking – a good, stable, healthy learning environment.

I have had the opportunity this year to interact with Mr. Carson, and I have found those interactions to be positive, and that he is a pleasant, thoughtful individual.  I have thought that he was doing a good job, and it is clear that he had the support of at least a number of teachers at the school.  However, if those that are better informed than I who are seeking the same end result that I am seeking believe that he was not the right person for the job, I do not believe that it is for me to second guess based on nothing but speculation and innuendo.

I will also state the obvious (and if it wasn’t before, the dialogue of the last few days should make this clear).  While there is much that is good about Ralston, there are things that could be improved.  Adolescence is a very tough age.  Developmentally, it is also a real transition, and as a result, it is well known that the middle school years are not easy.  In an ideal world, that would mean that there is substantial adult involvement while still enabling the kids to have some independence in a more meaningful way than is experienced in elementary school.  What that does not argue for is a school with 1200 kids, classes of 30 and individual teachers having 180 kids, and an administration of 3.  Yet, for financial reasons, that is what we have.  And it can be a mess for everyone involved. 

Having had numerous conversations with interested parties, I can say first hand that the School Board, District Office, Ralston Administrators and teachers all know this, and many parents discover it as well.  I have not seen anyone associated with the district not trying to solve for this.  But financial and other constraints make this very difficult.  The sniping of the last week certainly does not help.

Which brings me to why I will not be wearing black tomorrow, and I encourage others to join me. Protests may be a convenient way to voice frustration, but they do nothing to solve problems. Only becoming actively engaged in trying to find solutions is productive. 

This community has shown that it is capably of engaging to improve its schools – I need look no further than this past weekend’s School Force Mardi Gras Madness fundraising event which drew such a sizable percentage of the school parent population that it sold out, and was an unqualified success in raising money to support the schools.

More importantly, I am furious about the phone call that I received from one of my seventh graders today informing me that one of her teachers announced in class that students would be receiving extra credit for wearing black tomorrow.  I will state here that I have already registered a complaint of the inappropriateness of this with the district – my child’s grades should not be effected by whether or not I agree with a personnel matter. 

I also do not appreciate the pressure that my children will have from their classmates that is being pushed by both teachers and parents.  While I know enough about this message board to know that there will be plenty of comments thrown my way, I also know that it is important to speak out about what is wrong – and using grades and kids to vent frustration is nothing but wrong.

For those who are interested in helping the district, there are many ways to constructively do so.  I encourage everyone to find them and contribute in a positive way.

Jeffrey Selman

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Share something with your neighbors. Write a new post... What's up? Make an announcement, speak your mind, or sell something
DJ May 20, 2013 at 05:51 am
Please come to the San Mateo City Council meeting tonight at 7:00 or shortly after and voice yourRead More concern about replacing our community's skating rink with a retail store. Bring something to read/do while we wait for our turn to speak. City of San Mateo 330 West 20th Avenue San Mateo, CA 94403 dina.artzt@comcast.net if you are interested in updates on our cause.
CP May 15, 2013 at 10:05 am
The City has spent time working with the developer, behind closed doors it would seem, yet inputRead More from the public was an afterthought due to MANY families showing up at a May 6 City Council Meeting (not on the Agenda, yet rink to close June 1 !) So many kids spoke so sincerely and eloquently how the closure would hurt them and their friends. Does San Mateo City Hall care about the residents of our community? Especially the children. City Hall has the upper hand (the Master Plan agreement), we expect them to step up. Why has City Hall allowed SPI to make the children of our community suffer so much agony and pain over this process? Shame on City Hall for letting this drag out !!
CP May 13, 2013 at 02:30 am
Don't give up....the kids are worth it! It is wrong for SPI to be in non-compliance with the masterRead More plan. City Hall should be filing some type of injunction to stop closure of the ice center....this is not right. Repeat of what happened with 7 Eleven on North San Mateo Drive when the developer ignored our City ordinances/plans. Why is this happening again in our City of San Mateo?
Z April 5, 2013 at 03:23 pm
I suggest contacting Menlo Park Presbyterian Churh 650.323.8600 or Peninsula Covenant Church (650)Read More 365-8094 Blessings to you!
Linda Thomas April 5, 2013 at 03:14 pm
Eileen, you are heartily invited to visit the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Redwood City. WeRead More are a welcoming, caring group of about 177 people who find music, laughter, social, intellectual and social action pursuits to be eminently spiritual. Our services are at 10:30 a.m. Sundays at 2124 Brewster St. Best work advice at this time is to keep checking Craig's List, the Peninsula section, under both Etc. and part-time jobs.
Joc C May 14, 2013 at 06:49 pm
Parents supporting Redwood Shores Schools for Redwood Shores Kids, very well said. You have my fullRead More support.
Pearl April 29, 2013 at 06:51 pm
Thanks for sharing, Ari!!!! It's been my experience that when you volunteer, you get back way moreRead More than you give! Thanks for the great example you are setting for us all.
Kelly O'Dea April 29, 2013 at 06:23 pm
Ari-Thanks for sharing the adventures of your volunteering projects! You are a great inspiration toRead More our entire community and we are all very proud to have you as a spokesperson on how volunteering can make a huge impact! Thank you very much! Keep on having fun!
Joan S. Dentler (Editor) April 29, 2013 at 04:13 pm
This is a great reminder that any other local volunteers who would like to share their projects withRead More the community may do so on Belmont Patch! Simply email the editor at joan.dentler@patch.com. Great job Ari!
KP May 2, 2013 at 09:43 pm
Again, thank you Brian for this great article about Nesbit. I'm unsure of how it turned into aRead More sounding board for the petulant to vent but those of us who know how wonderful Nesbit is sure appreciate your article.
Joc C May 2, 2013 at 09:30 pm
API of 800 is not bad but parents are comparing it with other schools in the district. There areRead More other issues that make parents unhappy. The residents in RWS and Belmont Shores are paying property tax which contributes to the building of RWSE. There is an expectation that their kids will go to the kids they help fund. The RWS parents are unhappy because they were told they would not be affected by the no boundary policy. Then, a year later 26 families are affected. No one like surprises. The board's decision to use a 'walking distance' algorithm to promote neighborhood schools is not working. Well, hypothetically if Nesbit API is over 900 and the other schools has API of 800, would we still have this discussion? We would not know for sure but something to think about if API is a factor among others.
Brannigan May 2, 2013 at 08:40 pm
I just moved into the neighborhood behind Iron Gate and we bought in Belmont because of the schools.Read More I am kinda shocked to find people bashing Nesbit. The API score is over 800, has great diversity, and the location seems to be pretty convenient. Our son has 2 more years before he starts, but we wouldn't mind one bit if we ended up at Nesbit. What's the difference of 100 points on API that an extra 5 minutes of father-son tutoring time can't fix. Besides, we all end up at Ralston and Carlmont anyways. To me, those are the schools that matter most.
Karen Haas-Foletta May 6, 2013 at 03:32 pm
We have an on-site after care program at Ralson Middle School. Middle School youth are not too oldRead More to be in aftercare. The youth have a chance to exercise, eat a healthy snack, get their homework done, do arts and crafts, be with their friends and most importantly be in a safe, secure and educational environment. We have around 35 youth enrolled on Wednesdays and room for more if anyone is interested. The program is called Footsteps@RAMS.
Joe May 2, 2013 at 11:19 pm
You have to love the Patch, there is always someone complaining about public education. The schoolsRead More really must have failed all of you, because you don't know how to Google anything to educate yourself before you spew your negative opinions. Below are a couple of links that will help you learn. The first informs you of what minimum days are actually for and the second tells you legally why all schools in the county either have them or have shorter school years. For those of you that aren't the best readers or researchers I'll just tell you that BRSSD adheres to the required instructional minutes in the state. In fact, it is actually over in some grade levels. If you don't feel like believing the information I provided or don't like BRSSD's policy I've also linked the District's website so you can contact the administration or the board members. http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-minimum-day.htm#did-you-know http://www.cde.ca.gov/fg/au/ag/reducingit.asp http://www.brssd.org
Old Timer May 1, 2013 at 05:05 pm
Was nice when children actually did chores and became responsible young adults with a part time jobRead More to manage finances.