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A Master at Manipulation?

Kids fight a return to normal bedtimes.

“Can I go back to sleep?” my teen son asked Sunday morning.

He had a surly tone. He was still upset I had “forced” him and his siblings to get up at 7:30 that morning and the 3 mornings that preceded it.   

It was all part of my big plan to get my kids off their holiday sleep schedule - stay up late and get up late – and back on a school sleep schedule.

“Sure,” I said, refusing to put up a fight.

By the look he gave me, I could tell he had expected me to fight his attempt to return to bed. In fact, I’m fairly certain he had a list of reasons why he should be allowed to go back to sleep. I’m sure not fighting his demand for more sleep threw him for a loop.

He began heading for his room then he stopped walking, looked at me, and said, “This better not be a trick.”

“It’s not a trick,” I said. “If you want more sleep, then go back to bed.”  

This only served to make him even more suspicious of me. He watched me as I sat at the kitchen table reading. When I tired of him watching me, I said, “You can go back to sleep now.”

“I’m not tired anymore,” he said, crossing his arms.

“I think you’re being paranoid,” I said as I suppressed a laugh.

I found the fact that he thought I was up to something hilarious. He usually treats me like I’m not bright enough to walk and chew gum at the same time. Why he had suddenly decided I was a schemer out to trick him was beyond me. But I liked it.

The reason I imposed a wake up time in the first place is because when school’s out, I give my kids the freedom to choose their own bedtimes.

For my youngest, this usually means staying up an hour later and waking up an hour later. My teen son, however, is the one who takes full advantage of the break from normal schedules.

Over this winter break, my teen son got into the habit of staying up until 3 or 4 in the morning and sleeping as late as 3 pm. When “Call of Duty” calls, apparently he’s the one who has to answer the call.  

On December 31, I told my kids that starting January 3rd they needed to be up each morning at no later than 7:30. As soon as I finished my sentence, the questions and protests began. They were like addicts who didn’t want to be cut off.

“Why is it so important for us to wake up so early?” my teen son asked.

“I want you to get back in the habit of going to bed at a decent time,” I said.

My daughter, who is normally level-headed, gave a token effort at protest. Apparently, being sleep deprived took away her ability to come up with a compelling argument.

“If I get up so early, I’ll need to set an alarm,” she said.

“Oh, the horror,” I mocked.

“I hate using an alarm. Plus, I want to catch up on my sleep,” she said.

“It’s not as if I’m forcing you to stay up late,” I replied. “If you want to get up without using an alarm, then go to bed earlier.”

“This isn’t fair,” she said calmly.

“Life isn’t fair,” I replied just as calmly.

I learned a long time ago that setting an early bedtime doesn’t work for my kids. Back when I tried it that way, they usually went to their rooms and stayed up late and slept late.

So, now whenever I need to get them back on a school sleep schedule, I prefer to concentrate on them getting up each morning. Even at the ridiculously early time of 7:30 am.

The first couple of mornings of their readjustment period were rough on them, but my kids were back on their normal sleep schedules before they returned to their schools. They were rested and ready to resume learning.

Now we have returned to our normal school routines. This, of course, means I give them daily reminders to complete homework assignments and pleas for them to spend more time studying for quizzes and tests. I think they force me to check up on them just to torture me.   

But maybe I’m just being paranoid.

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DJ May 20, 2013 at 05:51 am
Please come to the San Mateo City Council meeting tonight at 7:00 or shortly after and voice yourRead More concern about replacing our community's skating rink with a retail store. Bring something to read/do while we wait for our turn to speak. City of San Mateo 330 West 20th Avenue San Mateo, CA 94403 dina.artzt@comcast.net if you are interested in updates on our cause.
CP May 15, 2013 at 10:05 am
The City has spent time working with the developer, behind closed doors it would seem, yet inputRead More from the public was an afterthought due to MANY families showing up at a May 6 City Council Meeting (not on the Agenda, yet rink to close June 1 !) So many kids spoke so sincerely and eloquently how the closure would hurt them and their friends. Does San Mateo City Hall care about the residents of our community? Especially the children. City Hall has the upper hand (the Master Plan agreement), we expect them to step up. Why has City Hall allowed SPI to make the children of our community suffer so much agony and pain over this process? Shame on City Hall for letting this drag out !!
CP May 13, 2013 at 02:30 am
Don't give up....the kids are worth it! It is wrong for SPI to be in non-compliance with the masterRead More plan. City Hall should be filing some type of injunction to stop closure of the ice center....this is not right. Repeat of what happened with 7 Eleven on North San Mateo Drive when the developer ignored our City ordinances/plans. Why is this happening again in our City of San Mateo?
Z April 5, 2013 at 03:23 pm
I suggest contacting Menlo Park Presbyterian Churh 650.323.8600 or Peninsula Covenant Church (650)Read More 365-8094 Blessings to you!
Linda Thomas April 5, 2013 at 03:14 pm
Eileen, you are heartily invited to visit the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Redwood City. WeRead More are a welcoming, caring group of about 177 people who find music, laughter, social, intellectual and social action pursuits to be eminently spiritual. Our services are at 10:30 a.m. Sundays at 2124 Brewster St. Best work advice at this time is to keep checking Craig's List, the Peninsula section, under both Etc. and part-time jobs.
Joc C May 14, 2013 at 06:49 pm
Parents supporting Redwood Shores Schools for Redwood Shores Kids, very well said. You have my fullRead More support.
Pearl April 29, 2013 at 06:51 pm
Thanks for sharing, Ari!!!! It's been my experience that when you volunteer, you get back way moreRead More than you give! Thanks for the great example you are setting for us all.
Kelly O'Dea April 29, 2013 at 06:23 pm
Ari-Thanks for sharing the adventures of your volunteering projects! You are a great inspiration toRead More our entire community and we are all very proud to have you as a spokesperson on how volunteering can make a huge impact! Thank you very much! Keep on having fun!
Joan S. Dentler (Editor) April 29, 2013 at 04:13 pm
This is a great reminder that any other local volunteers who would like to share their projects withRead More the community may do so on Belmont Patch! Simply email the editor at joan.dentler@patch.com. Great job Ari!
KP May 2, 2013 at 09:43 pm
Again, thank you Brian for this great article about Nesbit. I'm unsure of how it turned into aRead More sounding board for the petulant to vent but those of us who know how wonderful Nesbit is sure appreciate your article.
Joc C May 2, 2013 at 09:30 pm
API of 800 is not bad but parents are comparing it with other schools in the district. There areRead More other issues that make parents unhappy. The residents in RWS and Belmont Shores are paying property tax which contributes to the building of RWSE. There is an expectation that their kids will go to the kids they help fund. The RWS parents are unhappy because they were told they would not be affected by the no boundary policy. Then, a year later 26 families are affected. No one like surprises. The board's decision to use a 'walking distance' algorithm to promote neighborhood schools is not working. Well, hypothetically if Nesbit API is over 900 and the other schools has API of 800, would we still have this discussion? We would not know for sure but something to think about if API is a factor among others.
Brannigan May 2, 2013 at 08:40 pm
I just moved into the neighborhood behind Iron Gate and we bought in Belmont because of the schools.Read More I am kinda shocked to find people bashing Nesbit. The API score is over 800, has great diversity, and the location seems to be pretty convenient. Our son has 2 more years before he starts, but we wouldn't mind one bit if we ended up at Nesbit. What's the difference of 100 points on API that an extra 5 minutes of father-son tutoring time can't fix. Besides, we all end up at Ralston and Carlmont anyways. To me, those are the schools that matter most.
Karen Haas-Foletta May 6, 2013 at 03:32 pm
We have an on-site after care program at Ralson Middle School. Middle School youth are not too oldRead More to be in aftercare. The youth have a chance to exercise, eat a healthy snack, get their homework done, do arts and crafts, be with their friends and most importantly be in a safe, secure and educational environment. We have around 35 youth enrolled on Wednesdays and room for more if anyone is interested. The program is called Footsteps@RAMS.
Joe May 2, 2013 at 11:19 pm
You have to love the Patch, there is always someone complaining about public education. The schoolsRead More really must have failed all of you, because you don't know how to Google anything to educate yourself before you spew your negative opinions. Below are a couple of links that will help you learn. The first informs you of what minimum days are actually for and the second tells you legally why all schools in the county either have them or have shorter school years. For those of you that aren't the best readers or researchers I'll just tell you that BRSSD adheres to the required instructional minutes in the state. In fact, it is actually over in some grade levels. If you don't feel like believing the information I provided or don't like BRSSD's policy I've also linked the District's website so you can contact the administration or the board members. http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-minimum-day.htm#did-you-know http://www.cde.ca.gov/fg/au/ag/reducingit.asp http://www.brssd.org
Old Timer May 1, 2013 at 05:05 pm
Was nice when children actually did chores and became responsible young adults with a part time jobRead More to manage finances.