Letter to the Editor: The Lost Art of Table Manners

By Gin Nikoloff

Remember when we were young and your grandmother said at the dinner table, “Where’s your manners?”

Secretly, us moms and dads were embarrassed, so, we either said nothing to let it pass, or we said, “wweetie, take your elbows off the table, sit up straight!” Manners and etiquette, are these lost concepts? Perhaps!

So, why aren’t we sitting down at the table and teaching our children manners and etiquette?

Do we not have the time because of the amount of homework kids have today? Or do we have our kids in multiple sports programs? Or do both parents have to work with little time to create a three-course meal? The answer is probably a combination of some, if not all, these questions.

Our state’s elementary school curriculum mandates are much more intense today than when we were growing up. Book report upon book report, math and reading for two hours is what stressed us out when my son was in the fourth grade. I remember saying to my husband, “He’s not going to flunk 4th grade!” We both worked and rushed home to pick up the kids, bringing them home around 6 p.m. if we were lucky. By the time you started dinner, it’s close to 6:30, 7:00 p.m. . . We only had time to eat!

And what about all the sports that we have our kids signed-up for? Practices are generally two times a week and end around 5:30 or 6:00 p.m. . . . It’s later once the weather is warmer. What does this do for the dinner together, either you eat very late or you can pick up something quick. You only had time to eat!

In addition, do we know all the manner and etiquette rules? There is such a thing as an American Standards of Etiquette! Well, do not despair, I teach such a class.

Recently I taught an adult cooking class and asked the class if they knew where the bread and butter plate belonged.

Surprisingly only one person responded with the right answer. So how do we teach our kids manners and etiquette?

You send them to my class, About the MENU. I incorporate fun cooking classes with Manners, Etiquette, and Nutrition. In additon, the kids learn proper service, food safety and chopping skills. This is a great and rewarding class that helps kids build on their self-esteem. Proud as the kids will be to cook, serve and take away your dishes at the final presentation, you'll be proud to watch your child amaze you. Go ahead, bring the kids to grandmother's and be proud of your child at the dinner table.

Gin Nikoloff owns the Beli Deli, located at 1301 Sixth Ave., Belmont, CA 94002. 650-593-7311.