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Joyce Carol Oates Packs the House at Belmont Library

Award-winning author turns her grief into a poignant memoir.

Though her body of work includes 56 novels; more than 30 collections of short stories; eight volumes of poetry, plays, innumerable essays and book reviews; and extensive non-fiction works, the admirers of Joyce Carol Oates who filled the on Friday evening experienced a reading from a much more personal perspective.

Her latest work, “A Widow’s Story,” is based on Oates’ intimate experiences and emotions in the aftermath of her husband’s sudden death at age 77.

“A Widow’s Story,” Ms. Oates explained, began as a sort of widow’s handbook, or a practical guide to dealing with the death of a spouse.

The breathless quality of the late-night journal entries she would write while her husband, writer Raymond Smith, was hospitalized in the winter of 2008, as well as those written after his death, shaped the book into more of a memoir than a handbook.

“This is a most unusual book for me to have written,” she said. “It’s an assemblage of journal writings. I could no longer concentrate on my original idea to write a handbook, but later on I thought I would take it from my journal -- that that would be more helpful.”

“After Ray died,” Ms. Oates said, “I felt as though I had stepped through a doorway and the door shut and locked -- I’m in another dimension now.”

The terrible loss of a spouse, she explained, is “like a part of your brain is gone. And that’s the fact that your spouse is gone. But you still have to go through all the motions of your life.”

On turning grief into a poignant memoir, she said, “There were so many things I wasn’t prepared for in widowhood, lots of surprises. And lots of absurd moments that made me feel as if I had stepped into a Marx Brothers movie.”

She continued, “A memoir is a way of speaking to other people, it’s a communal thing.”

Oates’ fans turned out in grand numbers at the Belmont Library event. Chairs filled early in the library’s reading room following a reception, and the crowd overflowed into the aisles and common areas, many people carrying copies of “A Widow’s Story” to have signed after the reading.

Library manager Kathleen Beasley was pleased but not surprised at the turnout on a Friday evening.

“It’s a fabulous thing to have authors like this speak at the Belmont Library,” she said. “This library was built as a center for community . . . as a center for lifelong education.”

Beasley continued, “ 'A Widow’s Story' ” is one of the most powerful books I’ve read on loss and grief.”

She was quick to give credit to Ed Kaufman, owner of M is for Mystery bookstore in San Mateo for arranging to have Ms. Oates add the Belmont Library to her book tour. 

“I’ve always loved libraries,” said the affable Kaufman. “I have seven grandkids that use them a lot, and we love to host big events, but my bookstore can only accommodate about 100 people. The Belmont Library is big enough to hold the large numbers of people, plus it’s a nice thing to do for the community.”

Kaufman offers copies of “A Widow’s Story” available at his store on Third Avenue in downtown San Mateo.

Many who turned out for the event were members of book groups or clubs who had been assigned various Joyce Carol Oates books to read and discuss.

Although fellow book club members Margie Rubin and Helen Dolan hadn’t yet read “A Widow’s Story,” they were familiar with some of Ms. Oates’ other writings.

“Because Joyce Carol Oates is so prolific, we decided everybody would read a book and when we get together we’ll each speak about our book, sort of like a book report. Then, if there’s one that someone highly recommends, the whole group will read it,” Rubin said.

Colleen Devlin admits to reading Ms. Oates “100 years ago in college, so when I heard she was coming to the library, I had to come.”

Devlin’s daughter, Katy, a senior at Carlmont High School, is new to Oates’ work. “Just last night I read a short story, 'Life after High School,' since I knew we’d be coming to see her.”

“I’m a big fan of Joyce Carol Oates,” said Susan Weisberg, a social worker who drove up from Stanford for the event. “She captures the voice of the widow in exquisite prose. I’m so drawn to her writing—her voice is so refreshing and the book just resonates.”

In an eerie, yet lighthearted moment, as Ms. Oates was reading a chapter about the discourteous behavior of one of her now deceased cats following the death of her husband, the library’s power went out, darkening the room for a brief second. The author rolled with the slight distraction and quipped, “That must be Raynard (the cat) speaking to us.”

After reading several chapters from “A Widow’s Story,” Ms. Oates took questions from the audience.

When asked her advice on how to become a writer, she shared what she tells her creative writing students at Princeton, “Read voraciously . . . read where your heart leads you.”

A book signing followed the presentation. At the back of the line waited loyal fan Judy Greengard, who hoisted a heavy canvas bag containing around 15 Joyce Carol Oates books, which the author graciously signed.

The body of work created by Ms. Oates, who is 73, covers a vast range of genres -- from historical novels and gothic horror stories to nonfiction works on literary subjects including Emily Dickinson and James Joyce, and non-literary subjects such as boxer Mike Tyson. She has won numerous accolades for her work, including the National Book Award and the PEN/Malamud Award for “a lifetime of literary achievement.”

Ms. Oates continues to live and write in Princeton, NJ, where she is Distinguished Professor of Humanities at Princeton University.

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DJ May 20, 2013 at 05:51 am
Please come to the San Mateo City Council meeting tonight at 7:00 or shortly after and voice yourRead More concern about replacing our community's skating rink with a retail store. Bring something to read/do while we wait for our turn to speak. City of San Mateo 330 West 20th Avenue San Mateo, CA 94403 dina.artzt@comcast.net if you are interested in updates on our cause.
CP May 15, 2013 at 10:05 am
The City has spent time working with the developer, behind closed doors it would seem, yet inputRead More from the public was an afterthought due to MANY families showing up at a May 6 City Council Meeting (not on the Agenda, yet rink to close June 1 !) So many kids spoke so sincerely and eloquently how the closure would hurt them and their friends. Does San Mateo City Hall care about the residents of our community? Especially the children. City Hall has the upper hand (the Master Plan agreement), we expect them to step up. Why has City Hall allowed SPI to make the children of our community suffer so much agony and pain over this process? Shame on City Hall for letting this drag out !!
CP May 13, 2013 at 02:30 am
Don't give up....the kids are worth it! It is wrong for SPI to be in non-compliance with the masterRead More plan. City Hall should be filing some type of injunction to stop closure of the ice center....this is not right. Repeat of what happened with 7 Eleven on North San Mateo Drive when the developer ignored our City ordinances/plans. Why is this happening again in our City of San Mateo?
Z April 5, 2013 at 03:23 pm
I suggest contacting Menlo Park Presbyterian Churh 650.323.8600 or Peninsula Covenant Church (650)Read More 365-8094 Blessings to you!
Linda Thomas April 5, 2013 at 03:14 pm
Eileen, you are heartily invited to visit the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Redwood City. WeRead More are a welcoming, caring group of about 177 people who find music, laughter, social, intellectual and social action pursuits to be eminently spiritual. Our services are at 10:30 a.m. Sundays at 2124 Brewster St. Best work advice at this time is to keep checking Craig's List, the Peninsula section, under both Etc. and part-time jobs.
Joc C May 14, 2013 at 06:49 pm
Parents supporting Redwood Shores Schools for Redwood Shores Kids, very well said. You have my fullRead More support.
Pearl April 29, 2013 at 06:51 pm
Thanks for sharing, Ari!!!! It's been my experience that when you volunteer, you get back way moreRead More than you give! Thanks for the great example you are setting for us all.
Kelly O'Dea April 29, 2013 at 06:23 pm
Ari-Thanks for sharing the adventures of your volunteering projects! You are a great inspiration toRead More our entire community and we are all very proud to have you as a spokesperson on how volunteering can make a huge impact! Thank you very much! Keep on having fun!
Joan S. Dentler (Editor) April 29, 2013 at 04:13 pm
This is a great reminder that any other local volunteers who would like to share their projects withRead More the community may do so on Belmont Patch! Simply email the editor at joan.dentler@patch.com. Great job Ari!
KP May 2, 2013 at 09:43 pm
Again, thank you Brian for this great article about Nesbit. I'm unsure of how it turned into aRead More sounding board for the petulant to vent but those of us who know how wonderful Nesbit is sure appreciate your article.
Joc C May 2, 2013 at 09:30 pm
API of 800 is not bad but parents are comparing it with other schools in the district. There areRead More other issues that make parents unhappy. The residents in RWS and Belmont Shores are paying property tax which contributes to the building of RWSE. There is an expectation that their kids will go to the kids they help fund. The RWS parents are unhappy because they were told they would not be affected by the no boundary policy. Then, a year later 26 families are affected. No one like surprises. The board's decision to use a 'walking distance' algorithm to promote neighborhood schools is not working. Well, hypothetically if Nesbit API is over 900 and the other schools has API of 800, would we still have this discussion? We would not know for sure but something to think about if API is a factor among others.
Brannigan May 2, 2013 at 08:40 pm
I just moved into the neighborhood behind Iron Gate and we bought in Belmont because of the schools.Read More I am kinda shocked to find people bashing Nesbit. The API score is over 800, has great diversity, and the location seems to be pretty convenient. Our son has 2 more years before he starts, but we wouldn't mind one bit if we ended up at Nesbit. What's the difference of 100 points on API that an extra 5 minutes of father-son tutoring time can't fix. Besides, we all end up at Ralston and Carlmont anyways. To me, those are the schools that matter most.
Karen Haas-Foletta May 6, 2013 at 03:32 pm
We have an on-site after care program at Ralson Middle School. Middle School youth are not too oldRead More to be in aftercare. The youth have a chance to exercise, eat a healthy snack, get their homework done, do arts and crafts, be with their friends and most importantly be in a safe, secure and educational environment. We have around 35 youth enrolled on Wednesdays and room for more if anyone is interested. The program is called Footsteps@RAMS.
Joe May 2, 2013 at 11:19 pm
You have to love the Patch, there is always someone complaining about public education. The schoolsRead More really must have failed all of you, because you don't know how to Google anything to educate yourself before you spew your negative opinions. Below are a couple of links that will help you learn. The first informs you of what minimum days are actually for and the second tells you legally why all schools in the county either have them or have shorter school years. For those of you that aren't the best readers or researchers I'll just tell you that BRSSD adheres to the required instructional minutes in the state. In fact, it is actually over in some grade levels. If you don't feel like believing the information I provided or don't like BRSSD's policy I've also linked the District's website so you can contact the administration or the board members. http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-minimum-day.htm#did-you-know http://www.cde.ca.gov/fg/au/ag/reducingit.asp http://www.brssd.org
Old Timer May 1, 2013 at 05:05 pm
Was nice when children actually did chores and became responsible young adults with a part time jobRead More to manage finances.
Laura Klieves May 8, 2013 at 03:01 am
I'm just now reading this, and haveapizza, I resent that you think that Nesbit parents aren'tRead More involved in their kids' education. I've been involved since my kids started school, and I know many others who are involved too. Oh, and my kids are accountable for their education. Stop bashing Nesbit.
Linda April 29, 2013 at 03:20 am
The current situation is much worse because these are permanent assignments, not just one-yearRead More assignments.
Amy Koo April 29, 2013 at 02:57 am
We will be sharing the latest petition results with the board on May 2nd, so please show yourRead More support by signing if you haven't already. There are only 7 K seats available at Nesbit to handle all of Phase 2 and Phase 3 enrollment. Rather delaying the decision, the board should be proactive and approve the 4th K class at Sandpiper at the May 2nd meeting so that Sandpiper staff can prepare for that additional K class, and parents can move on to collaborating with the district on long term solutions for over-enrollment.